Week One; Day Two

[arabbitholeofwander]

CHARACTER: Nikki Kaide-Alden (OC); 29 WORD COUNT: 186 words TENSE: First Person (Narrative Style) NUMB. There is a certain fog that overwhelms you when you don’t feel anymore. It affects every part of you, from the top of your head to the tip of your toes. Your ability to see clearly wastes away and thinking clearly is something outside of your realm of possibility. At the age of 15, I agreed to have the feeling ripped out of me. At the time, I didn’t know that is what I was doing, but that’s exactly what happened. I was so in need of affection, I let a con man steal the only dignity that I had. Hell, let’s be real… He didn’t have to steal it; I handed it over to him with my legs spread and no questions. At nearly 30 years old, I’ve never found my feelings. Wherever they exist in this world, it’s not inside of me. The only thing I feel is the pinch of self-provoked pain that I use to remind myself that I am still alive and not wandering aimlessly in some hellish dream state of limbo. That’s it. That’s all I will ever be. Numb.